Determining that a marriage isn’t worth saving usually happens over time. Once you come to the final decision, you have to tell your ex. But, they might not be willing to accept the fact that the marriage is over. This can make a challenging situation even more difficult.
At first, you may think that you can go through the divorce process with your ex in an amicable manner. Many people can make this happen by remaining focused on the issues at hand and remembering the ultimate goal. When your ex is making things more stressful, you might have to alter your plans for the divorce.
Stand your ground
If your ex is completely against the divorce, you could find yourself having to answer questions about getting back together. Remember that “no” is a complete sentence because you don’t owe an explanation of exactly what’s going on in your thought process. You should give the reasons you want the divorce in the first place. However, don’t get sucked into trying to defend yourself about ending the marriage.
Discuss issues at the right time
Your ex may want to nitpick decisions that are coming in the future. You don’t have to discuss things like property division when you tell your ex that you are filing for divorce. The proper time to discuss these matters is when you are going through mediation or the divorce trial. By waiting to address these matters during those processes, you ensure that any agreements you reach are recorded properly. You also have a third party there who can try to keep things on track with the discussions.
Keep communication respectful
The stress of the divorce and the emotions that come with it might mean that you and your ex are a bit snippier with each other than normal. This is understandable. However, it isn’t an excuse to let respect fall by the wayside. It might help if you think of the communication with your ex as a business deal. Take a step back if the discussion seems to be getting too heated. You can always come back later and start over again, hopefully in a calmer manner.
Even though the divorce ends the marriage, you will still have contact with your ex often if you share children. Having the child custody order set and getting the other divorce matters settled can reduce stress since everything is in front of you in writing.