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How to make your child feel at home after divorce

Your child is an important part of your life, so you want to maximize the time you get with them after the divorce. Even if you and your estranged spouse have reached a custody agreement that works for everyone, there still may be additional hurdles to jump.

How do you make your child feel at home in two different places? You and your spouse have to decide how to divide your child’s furniture, clothing and other items. Will one parent take it all while the other buys all new items? Will you ask your child to decide which items go to each home? This can lead to a complicated situation, but it’s critical that the division of your child’s property is done in their best interests. You want them to feel welcome both at your place and at your spouse’s.

It’s time to talk about making your child comfortable in two homes

You both realize that your child needs to have the basics in both houses, including clothing, toys and bedroom furniture. Trying to split up what they have into two homes can still prove challenging. You may have enough for one home, but it’s impossible to bring items back and forth frequently. It’s not enough for just one parent’s house to be comfortable and it is not reasonable or responsible to bring all new things into one household?

It may very well work to divide up things like bedroom furniture or clothing. By splitting up what your child already has, they will have familiar belongings at both homes and that may be more comfortable for a child who will be going to a new unfamiliar house. Having familiar belongings at both homes will increase the chances that the child will feel secure in his or her new situation.

Still, both parents may have to purchase more items to complete the child’s space in their individual homes. Once settled, it will be helpful to the child if at least some of his or her items can travel back and forth when necessary.

Parents may want to buy duplicates of special items like a beloved toy or dish set, if the item is especially important to the child. Having a duplicate of the favorite item reduces the risk that the item will get lost or damaged when going in between Mother’s and Father’s homes.

Give your child a voice!

Letting your child have a say is vital during this transitional time in their life. It is their life too and they need to feel as though they have some control. It will make them feel heard and more secure. Parents should ask the child’s assistance in picking out certain items. For example, let the child pick out their own bed spread/comforter or room decorations. This will help the child feel more like they have a say in making their new room their own. Over time, the parents should work together to determine the best way to arrange assets between homes depending on the child’s ever changing needs and desires.