Self-talk is a technique counselors recommend to help deal with the trauma of a divorce. Of course, there is positive self-talk and negative self-talk. The language you select for your self-talk is important –
Negative self-talk frequently involves the word “IF” –
What ifWhat if this divorce costs a fortune …
Only ifI will settle only if I get what I want …
Not ifThere will be no compromise, not if I can help it …
If onlyIf only I had hired a better lawyer …
Can’t ifPay for college, I can’t if I don’t get more …
Allowing negative self-talk to monopolize your thoughts is counter-productive – in simple language “you will make yourself crazy”. Recognizing that you can control your emotional gyroscope is a very important factor in dealing with the rigors of a divorce.
I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley
]]>Marriage Exists | Marriage Does Not Exist |
Party changes his/her name | No change of name |
Joint credit cards are issued | No joint credit cards |
Joint tax returns are filed | Separate tax returns are filed |
Joint debts are incurred | Debts are incurred separately |
Joint bank accounts are opened | No joint bank accounts |
Continuous living together | Number of separations |
Introductions to friends/relatives | No husband/wife introductions |