Emotional turmoil is always part of a divorce. The only unpredictable aspects are related to how pervasive will it be and how long will it last. Maintaining control over your personal psychological balance is essential.

Self-talk is a technique counselors recommend to help deal with the trauma of a divorce. Of course, there is positive self-talk and negative self-talk. The language you select for your self-talk is important –

Negative self-talk frequently involves the word “IF” –

What if

What if this divorce costs a fortune …

Only if

I will settle only if I get what I want …

Not if

There will be no compromise, not if I can help it …

If only

If only I had hired a better lawyer …

Can't if

Pay for college, I can't if I don't get more …

Allowing negative self-talk to monopolize your thoughts is counter-productive – in simple language “you will make yourself crazy”. Recognizing that you can control your emotional gyroscope is a very important factor in dealing with the rigors of a divorce.

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley