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During a divorce, stay respectful and focus on reducing conflict

Divorcing has a tendency to bring out the worst in people, at least temporarily. Getting a divorce may be like living with an open wound. Every little negative remark may upset you or make you want to drag out the process as long as you can to make it more costly for your spouse.

It’s a good idea to think carefully about how you want to approach your divorce. Being respectful and willing to negotiate will paint you in a much better light if you do eventually have to go before a judge. It can also help you work out many of the issues you face outside court, so that there is an opportunity for you to avoid costing yourself and your spouse more than is necessary.

How can you stay respectful and reduce stress during your divorce?

Your priority should be to make sure you get enough breaks from what’s happening to cool down. For example, if your spouse reaches out and says something that upsets you, walk away. Take a break from social media and do something you enjoy. Don’t respond to those negative behaviors until you’ve had time to think through what you want to do.

Another good way to avoid trouble is by involving your attorney in your interactions. You can ask your spouse to have their attorney speak with your attorney directly and not with you, or you may forward all concerning messages, emails, calls or other information to your attorney to handle.

If your spouse continues to contact you in threatening, irritating or negative ways, you could also look into other ways to minimizing that contact, such as asking for a court-monitored messaging service to be used. This method is also a good idea if you want to have documentation of all the interactions you have with your spouse over the phone or messenger.

Finally, if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, let your attorney know. They may have good suggestions for helping you handle these emotions throughout the course of your divorce. They are there to make sure you have your legal options explained and to protect your best interests throughout the process.

At the end of the day, you goal is to handle this with as little stress and conflict as possible. Your attorney is there to support you and make sure you have all the information you need to make good decisions.